"Luke, how are you?" Big Trevor said to me the other day,

"7/10 Trev," I said quickly. Bit of a strange response and Big Trev seized on it like a rabid bear.

"7/10? Where are the other 3?" he demanded immediately.

"Well, that's a tough one Trev, I've got a nervous sense of anticipation brewing about having to blood sample a 250kg boar with no handling facility - that's taking the edge of a bit," I replied.

"That only counts as 1," Big Trev said in all seriousness.

"I've got to blood sample a bearded dragon, that's a challenge" I said.

"Bit pathetic Luke, I'm not having that, two blood samples, that's your job - half a point each tops."

"Fair enough Trev, how about a lame horse that's a 17HH chestnut filly, mad as a box of snakes and the chap I have to see it with has a bad wrist and can't hold it,"

Big Trev thought for a moment. "You're whining Luke,"

"No, I'm pointing out some points explaining why I'm 7 out of 10 rather than 10."

"Lot of people would like to see a horse on a day like this, blue skies, outdoors, all that sort of stuff"

"True," I replied, grappling to explain myself.

"Have you got a wonderful family Luke?" Big Trev asked.

"Yes,"

"You have a house, a very dirty landrover, a big dog, a job and hair," Big Trev said.

"You have me there, I definitely have hair," I replied, looking at Big Trev's shiny pate.

"You're a 9 out of 10," Big Trev said pointedly. "Stop complaining,"

I shrugged apologetically.

"How about you Trev?"

"4 out of 10,"

"4?!" I said aghast.

"No milk at work, sock has a hole in it, car is in for a service, England are looking shaky in the world cup and the wife wants a new car."

"That's only 5 bad points, where's the other one?" I asked.

"This conversation Luke, I'm now worried about your blood samples. It's dropped me below par."

"I'm worried about your sock." I said.

"Focus on the positives; family, friends and beer." Big Trev said.

I nodded sagely, he had a point. I felt the surge of three extra points bring me up to a 10. Carrying that through the boar blood sample went well, I even managed the dragon and against the odds, the horse didn't kill me.  Doesn't change the fact though, next time I get asked how I am, I'm going to say I'm okay.