"Did they pay?" Cords asked me.

I looked across the room to see the back of the huge man I had just been chatting to, disappear round the corner.

My face dropped - this was my whole purpose, my total mission was threatened with abject failure. There I was, standing by the counter, lamenting the pitiful first half performance of a hopeless England Rugby team when I should have been tackling £1.50 off each person who decided to sample some chocolate chip cake and have a cup of tea.

Last saturday was a big morning, I wasn't on call and so family Gamble were tearing it up at the local village hall hosting a tea and cake fundraiser for Worldwide Veterinary Service. It was about time. I mean the hardcore WVS team, Linda, Tess and James work their socks off doing cake stands, book fairs and jumble sales every other weekend in the year, surely I should do one event, in my own village, with my wife to help run it, for a couple of hours, about 200m from my house.

Awareness was everything, I had been told. It wasn’t about the money, we weren’t going to get the charity rich with tea and cakes at £1.50 but it was all about people knowing we were there and what we were up to.  I had to admit, I was being as useful to the cause as a proverbial chocolate teapot. 

"I'll get the money," I said resolutely, knowing I should have been talking about orphan puppies in paper bags, rabies outbreaks in outer Mongolia or sick baby elephants in need of expensive medicine.

"They'll come back, don't worry, people know why we are here" Cords said calmly.

“But what if they don’t?” I said.

Noah and Sheba looked up at me.

"What are you going to get Daddy?"

"The money for the tea and cake that family had just now - they forgot to pay," I said. A hint of steel in my voice.

"We'll come and help," Noah said with absolute determination.

And so it was decided. We weren’t even halfway through the morning and there I was, leaving Cords to dish out teas, cakes and manage everything entirely by herself, while I headed into the adjoining farm shop to chase down the perpetrators. 

I do occasionally visit clients who have forgotten to pay their bills. It's always a bit awkward, can be quite embarrassing - especially if they are in their dressing gowns - but I get the bucks paid and I felt confident I could handle this.

Noah and Sheba were going for a flanking move, never underestimate the stealth of a 3 and a half year old and a 19month year old in any given situation. They seemed to be circling round the back of the family as I coughed and hesitantly looked up at the 6ft 6 Dad who I had just been discussing the rugby with. He didn’t stand a chance.

"I need your bucks for the tea and cakes, I'm afraid" I said with a slightly embarrassed grin.

"No problem, we haven't forgotten, just grabbing some cabbages and we're coming back through,"

"Oh, brilliant." I stumbled, momentarily off guard.

"Well, we can pay you now if you'd like?" the man's wife said, flashing me a sympathetic smile.

"Ok, it's £1.50 please,' I said, willing the ground to swallow me up but knowing I had to stand firm, seize the moment and get the hard readies. 

"No, it's more, we had two cups of tea," she said.

"Right," my eyes lighting up, "£2.50."

The money passed hands, a big weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders. As the huge man and his family bid me a cheery goodbye and headed off, I thought I would get Noah and Sheba a small bag of sweeties in celebration of our success.

Reaching across to a large jar of skittles, I picked it up as Noah and Sheba excitedly watched. Then the lid came off. Not in a planned way, more in a disastrously messy way.

The jar didn’t smash, but fair to say, the sweeties came out. I lurched forward, hopelessly scrabbling around to put things right. Noah and Sheba joined in and there we were, the whole shop stopping to watch us as we cavorted about the floor - Sheba was laughing hysterically, Noah was loving the drama , sweets were everywhere. To say people were looking at us would have been an understatement. It took me twenty minutes to sort it out, pay for an unknown quantity of damaged goods and then finally I returned to my wife, red faced but triumphant.

I held out my £2.50.

“Not much is it,” I said.

“It’s ok. The chap just came back and gave us an extra 50p for another slice of cake so that’s £3, and we had two other people come up and donate £10 each! You must have made an impression out there.” Cords replied with a smile.

I thought for a moment, slightly dumfounded.

“It would be fair to say," I paused, trying to figure out how best to explain recent events. "I think people know we are here now....."

 

p.s. this weeks picture shows a New Forest pony. Absolutely no relation to a tea and cake morning but I met him the other morning and he was very friendly!